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  • 5 months ago

"When overcoming obstacles, the lesson is not in the type of person you leave behind, it is about the person you become"

Growing up, my parents really emphasized the importance of a strong moral compass. In all the decisions that I am faced with, I try my hardest to do the right thing for everyone. However, sometimes temptations cloud my judgement and I don’t always make the right decisions. Most of the time, selfishness comes into play and I hurt someone because I put myself first; sometimes results turn in my favor but either way it’s at the expense of their feelings and sometimes even their trust. 

As a rising graduate, the real world awaits and that means that I am about to make even bigger decisions in my life. In the past four years, I have met so many people who have impacted me in some way. However, there were a few who strayed me from my morals and because of that I’ve made some very poor decisions. After taking a step back and realizing that I didn’t like the person that I have become, I decided to back out from those “friends”. Although it was difficult decision, I felt a heavy burden lift from my shoulders and I could once again feel like myself; without being scrutinized or pressured into changing myself just so a certain group of people who stay friends with me.

In such a short period of time, I have learned so much. And I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for the amazing group of people I call my friends and family. They have supported me through thick and thin. When I am lost, they find me; they have guided me through the darkest of times. When I thought I could not move on from my lows, they told me to “just move along then, but eventually it will get easier”. I hope that you are just as fortunate to have that group of people, those that would go all though the night to find you. 

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  • 5 months ago
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Snapshots of being in love with you

When you asked me out on a “fake date” just so we can hang out and catch up as friends and I was so nervous about it because I didn’t know how I should act around you. But when you ended up kissing me and it was one of the happiest days of my life and it was so worth waiting 8 years for

When we were cuddling and in that short moment that you looked down at me and I could see that you cared about me so much just from looking at the way you were looking at me and then saying the most beautiful words, “I love you” for the first time to anyone, and that person was me

When I told you that school and my parents were stressing me out too much and all I wanted to do was cry and yell and to have you hold me in your arms and tell me everything was going to be okay. I told you that I missed you so much and a few hours later you surprised me and showed up at my door

When you teared up suggesting that we go on a break just so I can experience the college life that I always wanted and that being with you wouldn’t hold me back. And that when I was done living the life that I always imagined you would be right here waiting for me and ready to pick up where we left off 

When we take pictures you like the candids and to have silly pictures so that when we look back at them you can see me smiling and know that you can make me happy 

When I went to work after donating blood you kept texting me just to remind me to eat and drink lots of water because you were worried that I would work too hard and faint, and then tell me that you would be angry because I didn’t take good care of myself and then also be mad at yourself because you couldn’t be there to take care of me

When you tell me that because you love me, you love me just the way I am because you find me beautiful, intelligent, caring, and genuine. But you also love me for my flaws, and although I may not be perfect I am just perfect for you

When I realized with conviction that none of this would ever happen again because I was wrong and I hurt you and that now we don’t share a future together anymore, my world shattered. What upset me the most was not that our plans were ruined or that dreams changed, but that I made you unhappy and disappointed you. But I would’ve wanted you to know that I love you so much, always have and always will, and that I would do anything to mend things between us.

There was a time when I couldn’t even fathom how much you meant to me, and I still can’t, because I just love you so much. But looking back at our snapshots, I know that we had it good, really good baby. And maybe someday I will be able to wake up on the side you didn’t sleep on. Or go about my day and laugh about something that happened because I instantly thought about you. Although I think about you all the time, it gets easier day by day. And someday we can start new snapshots, but as friends.

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We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

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